


Professor Vaughn Must Go!

by memorizingthedigitsofpi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fitzsimmons Secret Valentine, Gen, Secret Messages, academy au, inspired by 80s teen comedies?, passing notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 23:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9687839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorizingthedigitsofpi/pseuds/memorizingthedigitsofpi
Summary: SHIELD Academy students Fitz and Simmons are teaming up to get rid of the worst teacher in the place: Professor Vaughn.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SuburbanSun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuburbanSun/gifts).



Jemma sat ramrod straight and staring directly ahead as Dr. Vaughn droned on about SHIELD history. How the man could make _Peggy Carter_ seem boring was beyond her. Really, the only thing stopping her from getting up to teach the class herself was a fear of getting expelled from the Academy.

Next to her, Fitz was lolling back in his chair in a way that seemed to defy gravity. Each time he rocked back, she wondered if he might just tip over.

It was the most entertaining aspect of the entire class. It had been for the whole semester.

If he didn't fall over soon, she might just stick out her foot. Just to end the monotony of the lecture.

But then Fitz leaned forward, the legs of his chair making a loud noise that echoed in the lecture theatre, and she sat up even straighter so as to project the idea that she had nothing whatsoever to do with the behaviour of her best friend.

He busied himself for a moment with his head bent down and his hand scribbling, and then a scrap of paper appeared under her elbow.

> _How does this man still have a job?_

She stifled a snort with the back of her hand and tried to pass it off as a sneeze.

Once she was sure no one was looking, she picked up her pen and wrote back.

> _Your guess is as good as mine._

She pushed the paper back to him and then returned her gaze to the front of the room, trying to muster all of her powers of concentration on taking in the lecture. And not falling asleep.

Fitz's reaction was nowhere near as subtle as hers had been. He let out a sharp guffaw that trailed off into chuckles. This caused a titter to go around the room. None of it perturbed Prof. Vaughn, who just kept lecturing in the same monotone voice with the same level of complete disinterest in his audience. He didn't even turn around to look.

Fitz pushed the paper back at her and watched as she read it.

> _Did you just slag a professor? Call 911 I'm having a heart attack!_

When she looked back at him, he clutched his chest dramatically and mimed falling over in his chair. Jemma rolled her eyes.

> _Oh hush_.

Fitz laughed again when he read her note. Thankfully, it was more quietly this time.

> _Right. Like that's gonna happen._

Jemma bridled a bit and tossed her hair over her shoulder before writing angrily back.

> _You act as if I've never complained about him before! You know full well I've raised my issues with Dr. Weaver!_

She pushed the note back to him with a pugnacious look and crossed her arms over her chest while he read it.

This time it was Fitz's turn to roll his eyes.

> _Which brings me back to my original question: how does he still work here?_

He pushed the paper back and raised an eyebrow at her.

Jemma had to admit, he had a point.

* * *

Fitz went back to Simmons' room with her after class in the hopes of snagging a few more of the biscuits her mum had sent over from home. With his mind focused on jammy dodgers, he didn't pay much mind to the fact that Jemma was unaccountably quiet all the way back across the quad.

Once they got into her room, he grabbed the box off her desk and fell onto her bed with it, immediately digging in and taking out two biscuits, shoving them both into his mouth at once.

Jemma gave him a look that spoke very eloquently indeed about her lack of patience.

"Wan' one?" he mumbled around his mouthful. Crumbs sprayed out as he spoke and he brushed them off her duvet and onto the floor. "Sowwy.'' He shrugged apologetically.

"I think you're right, Fitz," Jemma said. Her face was the picture of determination. That always made Fitz's stomach go funny.

He swallowed hard to clear his mouth of cookie. "About what?" he asked.

"Professor Vaughn really _shouldn't_ work at the Academy. At least, not in a lecturing position," Jemma answered. Her arms were crossed and her jaw was set, and she called up images of avenging angels that he'd seen in church as a boy.

"Alright," Fitz agreed easily.

"'Alright'?" Jemma repeated in surprise. "That's all you've got to say?"

Fitz rolled his eyes and grabbed another biscuit from the box. "What? It's not like there's anything _we_ can do about it." He shrugged and popped it into his mouth, whole.

"We'll just see about that," Jemma said very firmly indeed.

He wasn't at all sure whether she looked scary or sexy.

* * *

Jemma strode purposefully across campus, leaving Fitz straggling behind her. When she'd outlined her plan to him, he'd told her she was crazy. She didn't need negative thinking like that at a time like this. She had a _mission_ to accomplish.

Her phone vibrated in her back pocket and she didn't lose her stride as she pulled it out and glanced at it.

> _Wait up, will you?!_

She snorted and typed rapidly back.

> _Do you still plan to stop me?_

She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Fitz seemed pretty torn as he read her message. She faced forward again, not wanting his uncertainty to colour her objective. She knew what she was going to do, and she knew how to do it. Not even Fitz could stop her now.

> _Dammit, Jemma. At least let me help?_

The smile the crossed her face was smug, but she tried to tone it down as she waited for him to catch her up.

" _Now_ you want to assist me?" she asked when he jogged up, panting slightly to catch his breath.

"Not _especially_ , no," he shot back sarcastically. He was bent over with his hands on his knees and looking up at her with a squint. "But if you're hell bent on this ridiculous plan, the least I can do is make sure you're safe."

Jemma rolled her eyes and scoffed. "There's hardly any danger here, Fitz."

" _Riiight_ ," he said. His sarcasm was palpable.

"Oh," she pouted, stomping her foot in frustration. "Just- come _on_."

Grabbing the back of his shirt, she pulled him upright and then dragged him along with her into the History building. A reluctant, sarcastic assistant was still better than none at all.

* * *

Fitz tried not to be seen as he crouched outside of Professor Vaughn's window. He couldn't believe he was going along with this. Clearly, Jemma'd lost all of her marbles.

"Dr. Vaughn."

He peered over the window ledge at the sound of Jemma's voice. She sounded funny. And when he got a glimpse of her, she _looked_ funny. Her head was tilted down at a strange angle and her eyebrows were moving wildly over her forehead. And what on _earth_ was she doing with her mouth?

Dr. Vaughn didn't move from his slumped over position in his desk chair.

Jemma's expression changed from whatever that strange image had been to one of consternation.

Looking past Vaughn, she mouthed something at Fitz, but he didn't catch it.

"What?" he mouthed back.

She repeated herself, but he still had no idea.

He pointed to his ear and shrugged. "What?" he mouthed again.

Jemma glared at him and pulled her phone out.

> _He's asleep!_

Well, that explained why he wasn't reacting to any of this, then.

> _Good. Let's just forget this whole thing then._

Oops. That was the wrong thing to say.

Jemma pushed her shoulders back and looked even more determined than before.

> _No. This is perfect. Get ready._

Oh god. She was really going to go through with it.

Jemma crept over to their instructor and turned his chair toward the window until it was clear who was sitting in it. Then, to Fitz's shock and horror, she started to unbutton her blouse.

He waved at her through the window, eyes wide and expression disbelieving.

She waved him off, but stopped opening her shirt. Instead, she reached up and pulled her hair out of its customary ponytail.

Fitz swallowed hard as she shook it out. If Prof. Vaughn weren't sitting right there, he might be having some very inappropriate thoughts right now.

Jemma moved to get closer to Vaughn, and Fitz winced at the very idea. Thankfully, so did she. Instead, she hopped up on his desk and then that same odd expression came over her face again.

She paused like that, and Fitz waited for her to make her move.

After what felt like an age, she moved again.

Creeping over to the window, she asked, "Did you get it?"

"Get what?" Fitz asked, thoroughly confused.

"The picture!"

" _That_ was the picture you wanted?" He stared at her, not quite sure what to think. She's said she wanted a 'compromising' photo that she could talk to the board, but that just seemed like a friendly chat.

"Of _course_ it was!" Jemma groaned, her voice getting louder.

Behind her, Vaughn snorted and started to wake up.

"Quick," Fitz whispered, dragging her through the window.

She fell with a soft thump, half on top of him.

He tried very hard indeed not to look down her partially open top.

"Can we go now?" he asked. He closed his eyes tight as Jemma struggled to sit up and put herself back in order.

" _Fine_ ," she agreed peevishly. "But we're not done yet."

Fitz fell back in the dirt and groaned. Of course they weren't.

* * *

Jemma was nearing her wits' end. It had been almost two weeks, and she still hadn't succeeded in any of her plans.

After Fitz had convinced her that her compromising photo idea would hurt _her_ as much as it would hurt Vaughn, she'd tried writing a 'whistle blower' letter to the Academy newspaper outlining the unfair grading practices of everyone's least favourite professor.

Just her luck that it ended up in the April Fool's Day issue, so no one took it seriously.

Next, she'd left a recording device in his office in the hopes of catching him doing something untoward that she could bring to Dr. Weaver as proof that he should be let go.

She ended up with three days of gentle snoring interspersed with terse phone calls about lawn maintenance.

She'd even tried rallying some of her classmates to take their cases to Dr. Weaver, as well. If enough people complained, surely they'd have to remove him from the lecture series?

But no one was interested. If they got rid of Vaughn, they reasoned, they'd end up with a lecturer who expected them to _pay attention_ in class. Someone who'd want them to _attend_ regularly. They'd rather have the free period or built in nap time than a teacher who could actually help them _learn_ SHIELD history.

The philistines.

Jemma wasn't used to failing when she put her mind to something. She didn't know how other people coped with it.

* * *

Fitz steeled himself with a deep breath ahead of entering Agent Weaver's office. She was an administrator with a friendly demeanor and an open door policy, but she was still the most powerful person on campus.

But Jemma was in a funk over this whole Professor Vaughn thing, and he wouldn't be a very good friend if he didn't do his part to support her.

"Dr. Weaver?" he said hesitantly as he ducked his head inside her office.

She looked up from the report she was reading and smiled.

"Cadet Fitz. Come in." She waved him to a seat in front of her. "What can I help you with?"

Fitz sat down on the edge of the seat and wiped his sweaty palms along his thighs.

"Ehm, well..." He cleared his throat awkwardly. How on earth to begin?

"It's about Dr.  Vaughn..."

* * *

Jemma sat up straight and stared with determination at the board in front of her. She was _not_ going to fall asleep while they learned about the fall of Red Skull. No matter _how_ much she might want to. 

She was struggling to contain a yawn when the back door of the lecture hall opened with a noisy squeak. Looking back, she saw Fitz skulking in, ten minutes late for class.

He was just as bad as the rest of them. Honestly.

She turned back to the front, giving him a chilly reception as he snuck into the seat beside her, and she ignored his whispered attempts to get her attention.

> _Don't you want to know why I'm late?_

She glanced quickly at the paper, just long enough to read it, and then ignored it completely.

Fitz took it back and scribbled on it again.

> _I've got brilliant news for you._

Another quick glance, this one punctuated by a snort. The cafeteria was no doubt serving tater tots today. She rolled her eyes dramatically at Fitz and then turned to the board again. She had to squint to read Vaughn's writing, and even then it was like deciphering cuneiform.

> _It's about Dr. Vaughn._

She raised an eyebrow at that, then lowered it again. She's already heard that her article from the paper had been selected as the best satire piece in the issue. Apparently, she was getting a $50 gift card to the book store out of it.

At least her efforts hadn't been _totally_ wasted.

> _I've just been to see Dr. Weaver._

That piqued her interest enough to finally write back. 

> _And what did you speak with her about?_

Fitz just grinned. He had her, and he knew it. The prat.

She faced forward again, once again giving him the cold shoulder.

Amazingly, he held out til the end of class. She didn't know he had it in him.

"Well?" she asked expectantly as they packed their things up to leave.

"Well what?" Fitz asked with an innocent expression.

" _Leo_ ," she warned.

"Oi. No need to get personal." Fitz threw up his hands in defense. "I just thought you might want to ask me more _politely_ is all."

Jemma rolled her eyes at him and threw her bookbag over her shoulder. She counted under her breath as she started mounting the steps to the exit and before she'd even hit five, Fitz was apologizing. She didn't even try to hide her triumphant smile.

"Well?" she said again. This time her tone was teasing.

" _Well_ ," Fitz grinned back. "I found out why Weaver hasn't done anything about Vaughn, even though you've complained about him."

He was quite smug, standing there bouncing on his toes with his hands in his pockets. If he weren't so infuriating, he might be cute.

"And why is that?" Jemma asked, her curiosity almost overwhelming her.

"It turns out..." Fitz said, pausing dramatically.

"Yes?" Jemma said impatiently. It was just pulling teeth!

"He's retiring this year. That's why he's so checked out and why Dr. Weaver didn't want to sack him. She said she's had a chat with him about professionalism, but since he hasn't improved any she'll move him into a research-only position until the end of the year and we'll have to make do with substitutes until she can arrange for a permanent instructor."

Jemma stared at Fitz, mouth open in disbelief.

"He's _retiring_?" she asked.

"Yep."

"And Dr. Weaver didn't want to sack him because this is his last term, anyway?"

"That's right."

Jemma deflated.

"That's just so... anticlimactic," she said with some disappointment.

"Aw, don't worry, Jemma," Fitz said cheerfully, nudging her with his shoulder. "Maybe next term we'll have another truly awful instructor and you can get _that_ one fired."

Jemma had to laugh at that. "If that _does_ happen," she said, shaking her head at her own actions. "Maybe _stop_ me instead of going along with my plans?"

She felt a bit sheepish now. To think, she'd almost ensnared the poor man in a sex scandal! Perhaps she needed to tone things down a bit.

Fitz snorted. "You say that like it's an easy thing to do."

Jemma smiled at him. He _had_ tried, after all. And when that hadn't worked, he'd supported her the best way he knew how.

What more could a girl ask for?

"Alright," she said, taking his hand in hers. He looked at her in surprise, but there was a bit of hope there too. She was glad to see it.

"Don't stop me, then," she said. "Distract me instead."

And before he could ask how, she was pulling him along behind her, out of the classroom and across the quad. She was going to _show_ him how. Just as soon as they got back to her room.

 


End file.
